So, how does our culture affects our sexuality?

We all have some level of awareness of the urban myths regarding which nationality makes the best/worst lovers.  It is also very interesting that the surveys on which such myths are based (however objectively the data are collected and analysed) usually relate to male and rarely to female sexual capabilities.

So, according to the latest surveys; German men top the list for being “too smelly”, followed by English who are “too lazy” and Swedish who are apparently “too quick”.  The best lovers, according to the same survey, are Spanish, Brazilian and Italian.  The survey was based on feedback from female travellers, who I guess, have travelled the globe and sampled different cultures (literally).

The above surveys are amusing, interesting and a point of discussion but for me leave a lot of open questions and therefore I wonder even more - how does our culture affect our sexuality?  Because culture is such a wide term; it is our country of birth, our sub-culture, family of origin culture, religion, and even cultural influences we have picked up whilst travelling and living in other countries.

For me that is, personally, very eclectic.  I was raised in Croatia which is mainly a Catholic country but my parents were open-minded to other influences and religion was never a one way street in my house whilst growing up.  I lived in England for over 15 years, have travelled extensively around the world and recently moved to Munich, Bavaria.  Bavaria is, culturally and religiously, predominately Catholic and as such similar to my country of birth.

Of course, my culture and background has had an influence on my sexuality, but I have also acquired things along the way from different cultures and peoples I have come in contact with.  And, let’s not forget that for all of us, sexuality is not a constant but something that changes over our entire life span.

So, the above surveys are not only unfair (mainly on those men who appear to be the target samples), but one must wonder what is the purpose of questioning which culture, race or nationality make “the best lovers”.

As a therapist and somebody interested in all things sexual in humans, I would pose a different question :

What makes a good lover, or even the right lover, for you?

The question is, of course, a million dollar one and the answer more complex than any of us can even imagine.  And, as to the answer ... well, that is a royal can of worms that I will attempt to open soon ... but until that time consider for yourself what, in your opinion, makes a good lover, and the right lover, from your own perspective.