So, what is all the fuss about Willies?

There are many names for male genitals; some funny, some amusing, some puzzling and some even scary.  For the purposes of this article I will refer to them as Willies - as it is a playful and fun term to use for this very complex and often mis-understood part of the male body.  Here goes ...

Men cannot get away from their Willies, which “hang around and catch a breeze” and therefore they discover them very early in life.  Most men have a relatively good relationship with their genitals in their childhood but things can get trickier when they start to compare themselves with other boys at school, and they can’t help thinking “Is mine big enough, is it too big, is it the right shape and also, what about my testicles” ?

I find it very fascinating, as a therapist and a woman, to hear men talk about their private parts - but even more fascinated about the way women feel about the subject.

I was recently reminded of that when a male friend said to me “so why do women dislike Willies?” to which I responded something like “this is not true of all women” and he replied by saying “not all, but many have issues with them”.  I thought about his comments for a while after, and eventually had to admit that indeed, this might be the case for lots of women.  I remembered a number of my female clients who found their partners’ Willies unattractive or even ugly.  They didn’t like the texture, the smell and some of them where certainly not pleased with “all that white stuff that comes out”.  Ejaculate is definitely not on the menu for many women.

The question “why” naturally comes up.  Why is that part of our lover’s body unattractive to so many of us?  After all, a Willy is a part of the whole body and not a separate entity.  By rejecting that very important and cherished part of his body, are we not also rejecting him?

In turn, we as women would like to be accepted as a whole and for all our body parts to be admired and loved.  Some women even enjoy and encourage their lovers to stroke and taste their genitals but are not able/willing to indulge their lovers.

So, what can be done about it - or more importantly - what can you do about it if you belong to the category “I am not really sure about his Willy”?  Firstly, you need to be prepared to look at the whole subject from a different perspective and adopt an alternative attitude.  Ask yourself - why don’t I like it?  Is it something that I heard in my childhood (what is my mother’s/family attitude to it), is it something I read in the newspapers, or heard on the TV or Radio?  Maybe it is now time to adopt your own opinion about it and let go of myths which may have been created in the past.

Most importantly, communicate with your partner.  Be open in explaining how you feel and why you might feel that way, but also ask him about his relationship with his genitals.  Ask him what he likes/likes less, how he likes to be touched and where.

So, the next time you look at his Willy be prepared to view it in a slightly, if not completely, different light – but don’t ever reach for the magnifying glass, as this may not go down too well ...